facsimiles cdr

by facsimiles

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1.
04:37
i know if you’d lived next door when we were kids we would have played on the slides all day i would have caught you where the slide had dropped you and picked you up to go walking home and as we walked i’d say what children aren’t afraid of about what slipped by and we’d have held hands and every july when the creek ran bone dry we’d go out each night to catch fireflies then it was so safe our parents weren’t afraid we would be alone all night long and as we ran in my backyard there was nothing fake in the way you paused to stare up at stars and then at Christmas together we’d write wish lists both knowing that it was real our parents would say that’s enough go and play in the snow and make a snowman and as we built him you’d say he’ll be our child named William, we’ll be the parents and he’ll be ours forever i know if you’d lived next door when we were kids i’d call you from my window and i would shout to you and scream out all that now i’d never say out loud now i’ll just whisper about what children aren’t afraid of and when you see it in the stars, forever, it’s ours
2.
dry heat outside leaves blew with the tide I met eyes with squirrels there I swayed asking myself am I afraid of all the ocean's pearls when I found out the news down the line I wept for the world where do souls hide I can't explain I find that the only truth I know is truth comes, sense goes where'd you last see my so sweet simplicity and which way did it run? did it run with all my lost fears and myths hiding like I've none? I know we can't just be insignificant; we're worth it to someone where do souls hide I can't explain I find that the only truth I know is truth comes, sense goes and when she died I asked and the earth complied answered all my calls every green thing I soon found encircling me living breathing walls there I screamed, please tell me with your expertise, do you know where they've gone to? and without sound I felt it in the air around me I knew, I knew, I knew where do souls hide I can't explain I find that the only truth I know is truth comes, sense goes
3.
trailing wind will frail the ends i’ve got a lot to deal with she said with a cup in her hand, a cup in her hand handled like a box of shoes i’ve been kind of important in the back shelf of the closet the back shelf of the closet it’s not fair to give a bird some bread when he really wants a worm why don’t you dig one up for him go dig one up for him hymnals sung in just the perfect pitch remind me yes remind me which things i like to hear and which things i don’t like to here i sit just wishing you were here so i could hear hear with my ear all of your fears and cheers my dear and if i do appear sincere i really am so don’t get worried don’t listen to them it’s not their fault they are your friends but they don’t understand they don’t understand i miss you yes i do no lie and all those all those things that i said that one time well guess what they’re still true i miss you yes i do so bad and although it does make me sad well, that’s why i wrote this song for you
4.
is the door closed? i wish we lived by the coast i know the ocean is a potion of porcelain and salt and water and salt and water the rain atop your 'brella is a classic indication of something we both know and in your veins runs quietly so quietly this salt and water and salt and water and every afternoon as the young moon begins to peek out at you what do you think about as it stares you down is it how the space allowed between two people makes it hard to know what makes her proud or is it how you can't define the little something about her that's not fine are the blinds drawn? i hid your heart in the straw out in the barn behind my house is there a question of what will happen when it's done or is it just salt and water is there a chance that i could ever understand or is it just salt and water i try to open my mouth to speak but it's just running down my cheeks this salt and water and salt and water
5.
i fell asleep head resting on your lap watching the tv you waiting for the phone ring i woke up wake up time to go where's the keys you should keep better track i would like to describe what i heard him say but i don't know what those words mean i only know i saw a shine in the corner of your eye and outside the birds chirped and i overheard a conversation about new colonies a meditation on how to fix things a quotation from someone smarter than me a declaration of the worth of things you took me home, i felt things focus there was a magnetism, people felt it pulling on the iron in their blood and so they came by you would have called it awkward but it seemed like no one'd taught them how to you should say hi, how ya doin, let's make tea and smile too, the weather's nice, it's not the end but i've heard that word far too many times nothing's ever ended in this life before why would anything start ending now i'm asking you and so you took me to the movies, we saw a comedy you cried i laughed and in the dark you held my hand and whispered in my ear you said and whispered in my ear
6.
03:06
i thought once i loved you with my whole heart i remember you in the dark on the bed with your hair messed up smiling as i walked in the room never wished for this, never wanted to resist what made sense in my defense i tried pretty hard, cried in the dark, yelled in the stairwell but i recall your eyes the times you didn't smile recall your face the times you wouldn't kiss me recall your hand when it pushed away recall when i heard you didn't miss me i ended it myself didn't i, i started it myself didn't i i twisted up myself didn't i i still believe don't i it wore on me to see you but not see you a chore to pass you walking and talk like neighbors, white picket fence in between us my dog nibbling at your roses and when you left it wasn't a problem any longer i forgot it i acted strong every time i heard your name, like it didn't inflame my heart but i'd recall your eyes the times you didn't smile recall your face the times you wouldn't kiss me recall your hand when it pushed away recall when i heard you didn't miss me but i ended it myself didn't i, i started it myself didn't i i twisted up myself didn't i i still believe don't i i've tried to remember what we fought about i just can't remember why i yelled all i can see is your face when you were silent your back against the wall and no smile
7.
02:16
whispered like the sound of rivers underground and cars in junkyards playing neil young through their busted stereos and do you know that busted man, the toughest man, he had a plan he pulled my hair with breaths that ripple like cherries in a root beer float and they they all agree with those who said it's all my fault and i and i can see that i was wrong i was wrong all along and in the church next to where my grandma's buried by the cherry tree and where my mother married him and kissed him soft and sweet i sat down by myself late one night i had the key somehow i looked at statues and the windows and tried to hold on to now and you could you trust me? with a splinter of your smile i found it in the dark and i i am not free from anything that i could sing or the spark between our hearts whispered like the sound of rivers underground or muscles grating in the legs of elephants as they play by the lake i couldn't find a touch of hope i wouldn't look when i was told nope i'm fine just waiting, i'm fine just waiting
8.
03:23
it’s hard not to linger in lovely moments of bouncing light off emerald eyes conveying wavelengths of sea green lapping up overflowing, all dried up closer to memories I had already known like a storybook I’d read once closer to everything hiding under our heads sharp and wild, dark and red oscillating with the moon slowly as a knot undoes itself sinews threaded like cherry trees hiding sweetness inside those leaves i thought of nothing but this as you held my hand on my chest you rest your head the sand in your hair looked like all those swaying stars above and glowing clear for us when we rose there, when we walked for a moment, we both paused turning tops burning holes in the soft ground there we held each other, we waited oscillating with the moon slowly as a knot undoes itself sinews threaded like cherry trees hiding sweetness inside those leaves the dark of the sky pours down the waves at our feet, not touching yet the cold of the ground in flux gently holding both of us
9.
said twice quietly but never listened to devise for me a way to capture a way to keep the truths we see in our sleep said twice the well wishes on the pennies dropped suffice to say i think about you every day i wrote a goodbye letter before i'd even gone it's weird but i know i'll feel then how i've felt all along and i can visualize it i know how it'll go and what's the difference between then and now if that's so

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recorded on a 4-track with a broken preamp in a living room in seattle, wa, summer 2008

wearefacsimil.es

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released July 31, 2008

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facsimiles Berkeley, California

one EP per year for the rest of my life.

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